you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
