he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found puke in my bra..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
