This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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