I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
