Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Houston, we have a squirter
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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