Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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