Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
