Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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