I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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