We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
