I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
