So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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