It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
