you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
