I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
birth control should be required to get into college
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
