No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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