ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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