I showed him my bush... on skype.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
