if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
