ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
