Already got asked if we're dating
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
