my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
