I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
