My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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