I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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