i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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