a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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