Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
