totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
