Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
