So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
