Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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