I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
