no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
