At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
