you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
