You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm both gender and math confused
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
