The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
