I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
