fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
