Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
