Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
