honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
