Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
