you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
