Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
