dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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