i think my tv is drunk
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
