i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
