i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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