erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
