We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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