that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
