Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
