I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
