So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
